WND nuh-huh

From the sacred, national landmark that is imdb.com:

Memorable Quotes from "What's Happening!!" (1976)
[From episode: "From Here to Maternity"]
Mama: You gonna feed it?
Dwayne Nelson: Uh-Huh.
Mama: And burp it?
Dwayne Nelson: Uh-Huh.
Mama: And change it?
Dwayne Nelson: NUH-HUH!

Join us for drinks this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

Liquid Kitty

11780 West Pico Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90064

Cross Street: Barrington

Ignore your cardiologist WND

A lot of people ask me how I stay so thin. Exercise? Take care of myself? Lucky genes? Guess no more, for my treasured secret is finally out. The Gateway Grizzlies, a minor league baseball team in Illinois, just co-opted my daily regimen for its latest concession -- "Baseball's Best Burger." Here's its official description:

"The ballpark sandwich will include a hamburger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon -- all between a "bun" made of a sliced Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut. [The team's general manager/gourmand], who has said he has eaten at least 10 of the new creations as part of a "sampling process," said the team hopes to sell 100 to 200 of them a night at $4.50 each. He calls it a bargain, considering it is a meal and a dessert in one."

I know what you're thinking: it looks healthy and it sounds healthy, but does it taste good? Trust me: this baby actually melts in your mouth before exploding your heart into a thousand points of delicious aorta. Yummy.

Join us this Wednesday after 8:30 as part of your own "sampling process" at:

Burgundy Room

1621 1/2 Cahuenga Blvd

Los Angeles, CA 90028

Cross Street: Selma

and then in honor of the double-dip, at 10:00 (once it opens), we're heading to:

Hollywood Social Club

1651 Wilcox Ave
Hollywood, CA 90028

Cross Street: Hollywood

Drippy WND

It might be because this past weekend was the anniversary of my bar-mitzvah (thanks for all your cards by the way), but I suddenly found clarity with a long-standing conundrum. Back in 12th grade, my classmate, Brian, chose the following Steve Miller lyric as his quote for his yearbook page:

"Everything's better when wet."

At the time, I was just certain that couldn't be right. I mean, everything? Come on. But for the life of me, I couldn't come up with a single thing to disprove it, so I kept quiet. Until now. Read it and weep, Brian:

Socks.

I'll skip the forced segue involving Wetness and Drinks and Wednesday and you, and just invite you to join us this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

The Bowery

6268 Sunset Blvd
Hollywood, CA 90028

Cross Street: Vine

WND word to the wise

I just don't make small talk with people who are irrelevant.
-- Elvis Costello

I'm not suggesting Mr. Costello will necessarily be at drinks this or any other week, but just in case he ever drops by, treat this quote as a gentle warning. If you feel compelled to rap with the guy about things like the weather or some movie you like, make sure you communicate personal relevance. I cannot emphasize this enough.

Join us for drinks this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

The Other Room

1201 Abbott Kinney Blvd
Venice, CA 90292

Cross Street: San Juan