WND beanpole

After witnessing the "Fiesta Bowl" become the "Doritos Fiesta Bowl," and "Astros Field" become "Minute Maid Park," I've decided to go with the flow and get me some of that sweet sammy sponsorship. I know what you're thinking, but as my friend Alistair points out, I'm not selling out: I'm just buying in.

My new name is officially:
Jeremy, as presented by Goya Black Beans™ rich and elegant for classic black bean soup™

Pretty good, right? And how about that double "tm" action? I never would've dreamed that I'd be considered elegant or classic or even soup-like. Sure, my resume now looks a bit busier, and having to re-do all the sewn-in nametags in my socks will be a major pain, but I'm stoked. The sponsor’s even cool with abbreviations like Goya, or Goya to the Double B, but ask me to refrain from Goy or Goy Toy for obvious reasons.

Join Jeremy, as presented by Goya Black Beans™ rich and elegant for classic black bean soup™ and Jay (sadly unsponsored) this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

Roost

3100 Los Feliz Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90039

Cross Street: Edenhurst

WND with a capital "W"

"Wednesday's child is full of woe."

- Mother Goose

I not only take issue with this nonsense, I take umbrage. I must at long last call out Mother Goose and her bizarre anti-Wednesday smear campaign. In fact, her whole days-of-the-week rant is packed with absurd claims that are totally unsubstantiated.

"Monday's child is fair of face." I know a lot of dogs born on that day. Super ugly.
"Tuesday's child is full of grace." It's not grace they're full of, but she needed an easy rhyme.
"Thursday's child has far to go." A lot of them have nowhere to be.
"Friday's child is loving and giving." Only when they want something, you gullible feather-head.
"Saturday’s child works hard for a living." On the weekend? I’m not buying it.
"But the child born on Sabbath Day [ed. apparently M.G. was unfamiliar with the Jewish population] is fair and wise and good and gay." Um... I'll just leave that one alone.

Why does this damn goose woman hurl her only unambiguous vitriol of the week on my day and no ones else's? Yeah, I was born on a Wednesday. What of it? I'm full of many wonderful things that couldn't be less woeful. I won't go into detail here, but am happy to provide anyone with a complete inventory on request. Did she meet some depressive and decide that was a representative sampling? How about a little scientific integrity, lady? You're lazy!
"Mother Goose's child is a lazy loser!" You like that?! How does that feel?!
Wednesday's Child is totally awesome and kicks major ass.

Join us this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

The Spanish Kitchen

826 N La Cienega Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90069

Cross Street: Melrose