808 2/5
That's 808 and 2/5. As in two-fifths. As in 2 over 5. As in the IQ of the numbering overlord assigned to my street. Apartment #2 would have been the obvious choice, but apparently integers really bugged this guy. Maybe he had some weird experience as a kid or something. I'll admit I'm not crazy about every single integer I've come across, and I do hate when people mispronounce the word "integral" by saying "in-TEH-gruhl" instead of "INT-uh-gruhl," but that's about as much as I can relate.
Here's the conversation I had with my bank rep today:
"Did you say your new street number is 808 and Doofus?"
"No. 808 and TWO-FIFTHS."
"Because 'Doofus' isn't a street number we recognize."
"Yeah, I can understand that. But what I said was TWO-FIFTHS. Like the fraction."
"The what?"
"The fraction. You know, 2 divided by 5?"
"You asking me what's 2 divided by 5?"
I hesitate to stray even slightly from the official designation for fear that my monthly editions of Windplayer Magazine will forever be lost in post office purgatory. So if you're sending me something, be precise. Don't be cute and write ".4" even though you prefer working in decimal form. Likewise, unless you're convinced that my mailman is a math buff, none of that "6/15" or "10/25" knowing that each reduces to "2/5" (s.a.t. math at work, baby). A postcard mislabeled "2/7" might so incapacitate him that he'll be unable to navigate the .114285714286 units to my actual mailbox.
With that in mind, join us this Wednesday after 8:30 at a slightly easier address to remember:
Bigfoot Lodge
3172 Los Feliz Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90039
Cross Street: Glenfeliz
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