I need WND. Stat!

I'm tired of losing arguments because I don't have endless, arcane statistics at my fingertips. Every time I engage in debate, the other guy will invariably drop something like "But 35% of the Pentagon's budget goes to blah blah blah" or "Only 7% of crimes committed within a mile radius of boogity boog ever escalate into blabbity blab." Like I'm supposed to know these facts or I'm a big idiot. Who are these people and why are they memorizing these annoying numbers? I've decided to start making up my own statistics just to keep up:
"Your feeble-mindedness saddens me. You forget that a mere 24.31% of double-jointed fascists think aerosol cans can't hurt the environment just so long as you spray them indoors."
"And did you know that a whopping 67% of high school seniors can't find the planet Earth on a globe?"

Checkmate. 

Parry along with Jay and me this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

72 Market Street

72 Market St (surprise!)
Venice, CA 90291
Cross Street: Pacific