Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Proverbial WND

Lately, I find myself tiring of the same old proverbs. Every time I reach for one, there they are, the same one about "You can lead a horse to water" or "You can't judge a book by its cover" or the overplayed "You can laugh at a mouse on fire, but who’s laughing when the mouse runs under your petticoats?”

Maybe I don't like being told what I can and can't do, or maybe I'm just bored, but I figured I'd enliven the ol' proverbial stores with some new "classics." I think these are destined to catch on like, well, much like a fire catches on to one's bone-dry petticoats:

"You can't bathe in a cracked tub and ask where all the water went."

"Nyt lisätty myös kaikkien, usein kysyttyä suomalais-ugrilaisista kielistä." (Sorry, it really only makes sense in Finno-Ugric.)

"You can't get kicked out of a lamp store until you've broken every lamp in the place and then blamed it on the lamp store competitor across the street." (Name of lamp store competitor: Silence of the Lamps)

"You can't tell a kid with cancer that the cancer fairy will come and take his cancer away and leave a quarter under his pillow, and later expect to have any kind of credibility."

This Wednesday after 9:00, Jay and I can lead you to, but can't make you drink at:

Venice Whaler Bar & Grill

2-10 Washington Blvd
Venice, CA 90292
Cross Ocean: The Pacific

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