WND With That Guy

The time of year for reflection is once again upon us, so it's no surprise that the online listing for this week's venue includes a photo of a reflective man. Let's gaze at him together and ask ourselves some important questions. What is he pondering? What would I be pondering if I were that guy? Would a square-backed haircut have been more flattering? Why is he holding his right arm up with his left? Did he accidentally super-glue it to his forearm? Would the girl to the left be talking to him if he were wearing a nicer shirt?

For further insight, join Jay, me and Vin (the guy definitely looks like a Vin) this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

Rush Street
9546 Washington Blvd
Culver City, CA 90232
Cross Street: Culver Blvd

Happy Holidays!
Jeremy

A Righteous WND

Victory! Everyone needs to be as blissful as I am about both my Philadelphia Phillies and Obama winning their respective championships. Aren't you just sick of people who don't agree with me about absolutely everything? Me too. I realize some of you stupidly rooted for other baseball teams (nice foresight, genius), or voted for the wrong guy because you hate America/yourself, but too bad. As a first step, let's agree that the DH is stupid and if you voted for Prop 8, you're a complete and utter moron. See, we can bridge differences.

Join Jay and me this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

Mission Cantina
5946 W Sunset Blvd
Hollywood, CA 90028
Cross Street: Tamarind

Jeremy

You really must go WND

My bride-to-be and I have decided on a locale for our honeymoon -- the Amalfi coast. We've saved up nearly 65 Euros, so should be pretty much covered for the two-week trip. I'm excited, but worry that I'll return spouting such tripe as "Oh, you simply must visit if you have the chance," "The views are spectacular: you'll never see anything like it" and "The food is just incredible."

Whenever some windbag prates on and on about his vacation, I invariably paste a dopey smile on my face and shake my head in supposed wonderment just to satisfy the speaker's need to be envied. "Wow, you went to Italy? Gosh, that's amazing. The food is incredible? Really? Thank god you're here to settle once and for all that hotly debated point. I can just see you there with your big, ugly camera around your big, ugly neck and your dumb map and your stupid Polo shirt and your loser baseball cap... get over yourself!"

Can you tell I'm worked up over the election? Join Jay and me this Wednesday after 9:00 at:

Hush Lounge

6533 Hollywood Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90028
Cross Street: Hudson

WND vs. IOC

I pity the poor discus thrower unable to win 8 gold medals in one olympics because his sport has only one damn event per olympics. There are different ways to swim, you say? Well, there are different ways to throw the discus: frisbee-style, flipping it like a coin-style, using a sporty-looking spatula and flipping it pancake-style -- am I that much smarter than the IOC?

Join Jay and me this Wednesday after 9:00 at:

Johnny's Cocktail Lounge

2939 W Sunset Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90026
Cross Street: Silver Lake

WND Tremors

Must I comment on the earthquake? Does its power reach even into the wnd invite? No, I refuse: the quake stops here. It may have gotten a 5.4 on Richter's Scale, but on the Wnd Scale, it gets a big fat zero.

Actually to be fair, it did wind up having a minor to light effect on this invite, so we'll give it a 2.7. But that's the gpa equivalent of a B minus, so good luck getting into an Ivy League school now, tough guy.

Join Jay and me this Wednesday after 9:00 at:

The Garter

2356 Lincoln Blvd
Venice, CA 90291
Cross Street: Grant

Interchangeable WND

In the wake of Baseball's marathon all-star game, it's incumbent upon me as commissioner of my own fantasy baseball league to publish the photo of last year's winner accepting the prestigious Diamond Dogs trophy ("Double-D Cup"). Seeing as the defending champion, Avniel, currently resides in India, I spent all the wedding/honeymoon money I was saving up to fly out there. I think you'll agree it was well worth it based on his mom's expression. (I don't remember where his dad was at the time.)

Raise a toast to Av with Jay and me this Wednesday after 9:00 at:

Roof Bar at the Standard Downtown

550 S Flower St
Los Angeles, CA 90071
Cross Street: 6th

Refueled WND

Why the long hiatus? I know what you're thinking... gas prices. You're close, but it's actually the soaring cost of wiper fluid. Sure, it's not as sexy as those other sob stories on NPR, but as you all know, the stress on the old pocketbook has been devastating. The fat cats in Big Fluid seem to think that since it doesn't rain much in southern California, we're not affected. Hello? Tell that to the insect genocide that accumulates on my windshield daily, not to mention the tree sap/bird crap. We need affordable cleaning fluid over here! I hope someday those bigwigs are forced to share in the penny-saving nightmare of pulling off to the shoulder of the 10 to steam-clean the glass with their breath, then rub it off on their sleeves like polishing an apple. Unable to endure the prospect of losing yet another wnd, I shifted into problem-solver mode this week to find a better solution: I've removed my windshield completely and just drive around in goggles. Eat that, corporate jerks.

As a reward for your patience, wednesdaynightdrinks.com has been totally revamped (a.k.a. vamped) in a brazen display of self-importance all in honor of our 10th year. Experience the magic by perusing past invites, learning about our storied history and adding snide, mean-spirited comments wherever you deem fit (salivating yet, Anthony?). After you get that out of your system, join Jay and me this Wednesday after 9:00 at:

Father's Office
(the other location)

3229 Helms Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90034
Cross Street: Venice

WND staying cool

From the out-of-ideas-for-bar-names file comes:

Air Conditioned

2819 Pico Blvd
Santa Monica, CA 90405
Cross Street: 28th

Join Jay and me this Wednesday after 9:00 to see if the place actually lives up to its name.

Haphazard WND

"What's with wnd? Is it happening this week?"
"I don't know. There's doesn't seem to be any kind of pattern. Sometimes it's weekly, sometimes it's monthly."
"I think Jay and Jeremy are lazy."
"No, they were just brought up poorly."
"Gosh, that's a little strong."
"Look, consistency is important. Parents need to drive that point home, and theirs clearly didn't."
"But Emerson said 'a foolish consistency is-'
"-don't you DARE quote Emerson to me! You understand? I know Emerson. I AM Emerson."
"You're Emerson?"
"Well, I'm certainly Emersonian."
"You can't call yourself 'Emersonian.' Someone else has to say that about you, like with 'handsome' or 'defiant.'"

We'll break away from eavesdropping on the voices in my head to invite you to join us this Wednesday after 9:00 at:

Tropicana Bar at the Roosevelt Hotel

7000 Hollywood Blvd
Hollywood, CA 90028
Cross Street: N Orange

[ed. The cast of "Iron Man" actually showed up. Some say it was because the premiere was across the street, but I know it's because Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow and Jon Favreau all caught a little thing I like to call "wnd fever."]

Jeremy
P.S. Thanks to everyone who came down to Newport Beach to see "Let Others Suffer." Next up on the circuit is The Seattle True Independent Film Fest followed by deadCENTER Film in Oklahoma City, so buy those plane tickets today!

Bully for WND

In this week's installment of "Bully on the Playground," I go back in time to harass European artists.

Henrik Ibsen:
"Hey, look everybody: it's Heinie Itchin! Why are you itching your heinie, Ib-shit? Write a well-made play about that, smart guy. You're dumb."

Marcel Proust:
"Hey, PrOWst! How's it going, PrOWst?"
"Non, c'est Prooost!"
"What's that, PrOWst? Why's your name PrOWst, Marcy? Marcy's a girl's name. You're a girl!"

Henri de Toulose-Lautrec:
"Toulouse? Too short is more like it, Tou-Loser!"

Next time on "Bully," I mess with former U.N. secretary generals with such ferocity that U Thant's forced to hide in the boys' bathroom all recess. Until then, join Jay and me this Wednesday after 9:00 at:

World Cafe

2820 Main St
Santa Monica, CA 90405
Cross Street: Hill

JDR & WND

In 3rd grade, I decided I didn't like the name Jeremy, so went by "J.J." instead. Since my middle name's David, that might seem peculiar, but I thought the more obvious "J.D." sounded too Texas-oilman-y ("Y'all get J.D. over here! I think we got us a gusher! Yee-Haw!"), so chose what I considered the next best thing. In the ensuing years, I reverted to Jeremy, but now feel the need to reinvent myself once again. I've studied every variation and winnowed it down to the following:

J.R. (I think the character from Dallas is sufficiently dated that I won't aggravate the Texas oilman problem)
J.U. (this has the added benefit of phonetically describing my ethnic background)
J.V. (I did of course crack varsity multiple times, so it would be ironic)
J.Z. (It looks less plagiarized as written than as spoken)
G.Q. (I think this one speaks for itself)

Join Jay and me to weigh in (literally) this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

Barcopa

2810 Main St
Santa Monica, CA 90405
Cross Street: Ashland

WNDiablo

(topical... must stay topical...)
Have you seen Diablo Cody's tattoo? I have a theory as to why she inked over the part that said "Jonny's Girl": she's no longer Jonny's Girl. Am I right?!
And how about Obama? Is this guy for real or what?! Exactly!
Zing!

Join Jay and me to retool my wnd invite strategy this Wednesday after 9:00 at:

Winston's

7746 Santa Monica Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90046
Cross Street: Ogden

Vote WND

As Super Tuesday approaches, many candidates have been campaigning vigorously for my endorsement. I'm of course very flattered. I thanked Obama for his fruit basket, Hillary for that DVD of "Steel Magnolias" and John for a different DVD of "Steel Magnolias" (they should really coordinate better). To make an informed decision, I've put together a crack team of top advisors who have pointed out 1) this kind of endorsement is very different from writing-your-name-on-the-back-of-a-check endorsement (wish I'd known that earlier), and 2) I have to follow my heart. That said, I've decided to put my full support behind Wednesday Night Drinks.

I believe WND won't get caught up in the bitter partisanship of demonizing other opponents; I believe WND cares more about the future than the past, rightly hating the present; and finally I believe that WND stands for good friends and good laughs, something I think we can all get behind.

Join Jay and me to congratulate the candidate this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

Lou

724 N Vine St
Los Angeles, CA 90038
Cross Street: Camerford

WND, you're the piano man

I just heard Billy Joel's "Piano Man" piped in at Target, and take issue with one lyric: "Sing us a song, you're the piano man." Shouldn't it be "Play us a song, you're the piano man"? To be consistent, it would have to be "Sing us a song, you're the singing man." Otherwise, anything goes: "Sing us a song, you're the pharmacist," "Make us some lunch, you're the chair of Near-Eastern Studies at Amherst." Come on, Billy.

Come make love to your tonic and gin with Jay and me this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

The Woods

1533 N La Brea

Hollywood, CA 90028
Cross Street: Sunset

Jeremy
p.s. Thanks to all those who attended our film screening -- you can follow the movie's progress through the film festival circuit at letotherssuffer.com or my website.

WND = FND

"Wednesday Night Drinks on a Friday? Is that even possible?!"
Well, with God's help and a little elbow grease, it sure is.
Come join us for drinks this Friday after 6:00 at:

The Stinking Rose

55 N La Cienega Blvd
Beverly Hills, CA 90211

Cross Street: Wilshire

... before walking over to the FREE 7:30 SCREENING of:

"Let Others Suffer" @Beverly Hills Hi-Def Film Festival

8556 Wilshire Blvd
Beverly Hills, CA 90211

Cross Street: La Cienega
http://www.letotherssuffer.com/Bevhills2.html

... after which you can head right back to:

The Stinking Rose

55 N La Cienega Blvd
Beverly Hills, CA 90211

Cross Street: Wilshire

Now, that's a night of entertainment.