Color me WND

What do you know? Jay's engaged! To a girl. I didn't catch her name. Kate something. Anyway, what's really exciting is that they've chosen me to pick the color for their wedding. I have no idea why, but I’m psyched. I definitely want to go with a shade, not some tired one-word crap like Purple. And I condemn any pre-conceived nonsense like "Canary" Yellow or "Powder" Blue. I've got to reinvent the color palette just as Jay and Karen are reinventing their life palette. Here's what I've got so far:

"Tube Sock" Buff with Yellow Stripes

"Government Terror Alert ('Guarded')" Blue

"Slightly-Less-Aggravated-Sunburn-After-Rubbing-On-Ointment" Red

"That-Chair-In-My-Room-I-Had-Growing-Up-Which-I-Once-Stood-On-To-Grab-Something-Off-The-Top-Shelf-Of-My-Closet-Without-Realizing-That-I-Was-Crushing-This-New-45-I-Bought-Of-Quincy-Jones-Playing-'Stuff-Like-That'-A-Song-I-Really-Dug-As-A-Kid-So-Save-The-Jokes-Mr.-'My-Musical-Taste-Has-Always-Been-Super-Cool"-And-I-Can't-Imagine-How-Important-Whatever-I-Was-Looking-For-Could-Have-Been-If-It-Was-So-Completely-Out-Of-Reach-Like-It-Couldn't-Have-Been-A-Big-Bag-Of-Money-With-A-Dollar-Sign-Printed-On-It-Or-My-Living-Will" Beige-ish.

While I spend the better part of a year hammering this out, join me, Jay and Khalil for drinks this Wednesday after 8:30 at:

Renee's Courtyard Cafe

522 Wilshire Blvd
Santa Monica, CA 90401
Cross Street: 5th

See you there,
"Jeremy" Swarthy